


of everything that is na jaemin

by dreamcas



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Nahyuck, idolverse, jaemdong, nahyuck are best friends, non-au, this is shorter than i wanted it to be cries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:01:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26120011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamcas/pseuds/dreamcas
Summary: donghyuck finds out that people don't think he and jaemin are close, which results in some reminiscing, a lot of thinking and a slap of realization.alternatively titled: behind the scenes of nahyuck.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Na Jaemin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 79





	of everything that is na jaemin

**Author's Note:**

> exactly a year ago today, i posted photographer na's greatest challenge, which is not only my first published nct fic but also my first ever fic on ao3! *pops confetti* so i decided to write up something short (also nahyuck-based for nahyuck nation) just to celebrate. yet again, i meant this story as a platonic one since i believe friendship-revolving fics deserve more love but... perceive it any way u like ^___^
> 
> this story leans a little more to the darker side and is set in haechan's pov as compared to pngc. i wrote it very carefully as it explores personal themes like fighting, problems in friendships, the harsh industry, etc and there are very personal descriptions of the boys, so, here's a disclaimer: what's written here does not reflect my own perception of the boys (especially haechan) or their relationship with each other in any way. if any part of the story seems to cross a line i carelessly failed to see while writing, please let me know!
> 
> cw: both haechan and jaemin's injuries are (VERY) slightly mentioned.

* * *

It is no secret that one of the most valuable things in Donghyuck's life comes as a set of a three. The four of them together are like a Buy 1 Free 3 promotion on bar soap that you'd find in the supermarket on a slow Sunday morning. Everyone knows how much his three best friends mean to him, partly thanks to how he never shuts up about them and likes to express his love for his three closest friends at any chance he gets. All that love is typically expressed through live broadcasts for only the fans to witness, not his group members who "have better things to do than watch each other's solo VLives", as although Donghyuck is an affection-starved bear and jumps on every boy he sees to reel in some love, he has always found verbally expressing his love to his same-aged friends to be a bit of a somewhat embarrassing task.

He finds it easy to carve out a whole essay for Chenle's birthday, but the most he can do for Jaemin's is send him a text which says "Yeah, you know, right?" and nothing else, one minute before his birthday ends.

With the memory of his self-proclaimed unique, extraordinary, never-been-done-before birthday message for Jaemin echoing in the back of his head, Donghyuck realizes that maybe it _is_ his fault. He forces himself to stop scrolling down any further and exits the Twitter app, needing a second to process all that he had just seen. He finds it hard to believe, yet the things that their fans said seemed to make a lot of sense and he wonders, maybe it is his own fault that people don't think he and Jaemin are as close with each other as they are with everyone else. He saw fans joking about how all they'll get is "crumbs" which apparently stands for bare minimum interactions and how surprised they are to see that the two of them actually know one another.

Donghyuck knows most of it are just fandom jokes, but there are also serious assumptions made which have him a little riled up, especially since he has always been slightly upset (and very much jealous) that Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin are often dubbed an iconic trio. A trio! He's their 00liner best friend too, which makes them a _quartet_ , not a trio.

Though he has to admit, his friendship with Jaemin hasn't always been a walk in the park. It's true what they said: Donghyuck met his match when he met Jaemin. Their personalities are vastly different but the traits that they do have in common are so distinctive to the point they're unsure whether they can say they're alike or not at all similar. When they click, their chemistry is unmatched, a pair that fit so well together like their names were written in the heavens to wreak havoc as a team. But when they clash, it's as if two separate dimensions are about to collide and explode into grey ashes.

Yet even when the two of them together are bound to crash and burn, Donghyuck would always find three things in Jaemin.

_"A reason…"_

Donghyuck can recall their first fight (of many others, but definitely the most violent) on a warm summer evening, sometime back when they were barely touched by the hands of puberty. He remembers what it was about, he remembers how the fight escalated and he remembers how bad it got. Fans knew of the "summer fight" he had with Mark a couple years back, but fans didn't know the summer fight he had with Jaemin in their predebut years was far worse.

(During "Boom" promotions, they had briefly mentioned the fight for an interview. Jaemin called it a fistfight and Donghyuck admitted that he lost, but that was all their fans would ever need to know.)

In the dimly lit practice room, voices were becoming increasingly louder, shouting at and over each other. A small Jisung was cowering behind a concerned Mark in fear, afraid at seeing his two loving older brother figures going up in flames. An annoyed Jeno stood in the middle of an angry Donghyuck and an equally furious Jaemin, exhausted from not picking a side and just wanting to go home already. One thing led to another, a punch was thrown which led to the second, the third, and eventually both boys were on the floor.

The punches weren't too strong to leave any significance—after all, how much damage could wimpy fourteen-year-old boys do?—yet they did leave a sting with a little blood at the corner of Jaemin's lips. He was a little bit stronger than his unexpected sparring partner and managed to pin Donghyuck down, fisting Donghyuck's wrinkled blue t-shirt, eyes aflame with an icy glare that nobody had seen before. It took Donghyuck by such surprise that he couldn't even think of retaliating anymore.

Jaemin was a best friend he spent nearly all 24 hours with and he had never seen that look in his eyes. It _terrified_ him. And through that look, Donghyuck found a reason. At his childish age, the normally competitive, stubborn Donghyuck who would want the last say even if it killed him, found a reason to give in and admit defeat.

He can lose a fight, but he can't lose Jaemin.

"I'm sorry." Donghyuck muttered through a heavy breath.

Jaemin's brows arched. "You— what?"

"I said I'm _sorry_."

Even the spectators of the fight were exchanging glances in awe and shock. A genuine apology? From local menace Lee Donghyuck? It felt like a Christmas miracle in mid-July.

Jaemin could only respond with a sigh. He hated just arguing and the last thing he wanted was to prolong a whole fight with one of the few friends that he had, so he was quick to say his apologies too and hold out his hand for Donghyuck to take. The fight was then concluded with an endless lecture from their managers who found out and with a forced embrace under the pretense that "hugging it out will make it all better". It took less than a night for the lingering tension between Donghyuck and Jaemin to subside and they were back to normal, sandwiching Jisung between them and smothering the little one with kisses.

_"...assurance…"_

After Jaemin returned from his year-long hiatus, there was a small strain on their relationship of which, in truth, its origins were unknown. It wasn't that they felt awkward or they weren't as close as they used to be, but rather that there was a gap unfilled between them and neither was aware of how to fix it. They could play around just fine—Donghyuck jokes that he can still feel the sore from when Jaemin shoved him into oblivion on the iconic hoodie VLive—and physical affection was all the same, yet something about them was different.

Something was empty. 

At least, Donghyuck felt that way. Until today he's never directly confronted Jaemin about it and he prefers to believe that it was a one-sided situation that his subconscious somehow twisted his brain into overthinking. Lulls in friendships are normal, he had tried to assure himself, but as he continued feeling the faded distance between them, Donghyuck began to worry. Not just for the sake of having healthy relationships with colleagues, but for the sake of _him_. He can't imagine not having a wholesome relationship with any of the ever growing NCT members, his work family, especially not with the same person with whom he shared his earliest days.

The nagging uneasiness that relentlessly tugged at Donghyuck's heartstrings led to his hunger for Jaemin's undivided attention. Not much of a shocker considering that Donghyuck is a whole loveball who adores being adored and hates being left out more than anything else in the world (Yes. Even more than seaweed.) but his persistence in ensuring his spot in Jaemin's world of affection was astounding. He just needed the extra assurance that Jaemin loved him, that they were fine, that they were BFFs no matter what happens.

It was why Donghyuck was so quick to hop on Jaemin's tail whenever the latter announced to the room he was going to get coffee. It gave him an excuse to watch Jaemin feign an annoyed expression yet still get his coffee exactly the way he likes it and not even ask for his money back. Exploiting Jaemin's finances was fun, indeed, but it was more fun for Donghyuck to find something that only he did with Jaemin. An odd bonding method, if you could call it that.

He had intelligent arguments with Renjun, games with Jeno, and if all he had with Jaemin was coffee errands then so be it.

It was also why he adorably added "Thinking of Haechan" to the list of things Jaemin does before he sleeps and why his heart fell when it was revealed that Jaemin hugs the members to ease his nerves before performing, softly whining, "But you've never hugged me." 

Jaemin had insisted that he had hugged Donghyuck before though the latter couldn't recall. Maybe it was because random hugs for them were like second nature; the two most affectionate members of Neo City. Whether it was true that Jaemin had given Donghyuck anti-stagefright hugs or not, Donghyuck did get a significant increase in the number of hugs received, so he wouldn't complain.

(The best part is that the freeflow of hugs don't only come from Jaemin, but also come from the other Dreamies who'd pull him into their arms without prior warning and give him a tight, comforting squeeze.)

There never actually was a so-called gap between him and Jaemin, but the realization came to Donghyuck a bit late. He was hit with it when he met the Dreamies for the first time in months while he was on rest for his fracture. Until now he isn't sure how to explain it or if it even makes any sense, it was just that when Jaemin greeted him with a big hug and the biggest smile, the warmth that Jaemin radiated helped Donghyuck realize that the "unfilled gap" was never there. He had felt that things between them were different after Jaemin's hiatus, which was true only because they were kids growing up and had to spend that period of massive change apart. Friendships change when people do, but the love between them would always remain the same.

At the end of the day, even if their bond continues to be altered as they grow, Donghyuck would always find the same one thing in Jaemin: that assurance. Even when they were having one of their petty fights and giving each other the cold shoulder, or when either one needed his time alone, they would always be the best of friends. Whether the world changes or they change, they would always find each other as Donghyuck and Jaemin.

_"...and warmth."_

Sometimes the industry gets too much. Sometimes his career overwhelms him. Sometimes the thin line between Donghyuck and Haechan is blurred and he's drowning in the confusion of which is which and who is the real him. He's human—as much as he loves what he does, sometimes he just needs time away from the intensity of it all.

The sun could feel cold, too.

When those moments did come where he would be unsure of who he is or where he was way too tired to deal with the world, Donghyuck would rather be alone. He'd pull his blanket over his head and pretend to be asleep to avoid conversations with the 127 members, he'd ignore the mass of text messages flooding the Dream chatroom. He would at times isolate himself in an empty practice room too, put his music playlist on shuffle and get lost in whatever song is played. He wouldn't want any human interactions, not feeling the mood to talk to anyone; not even Renjun, who he normally texted on a daily basis.

Yet when it was Jaemin who popped his head into the room, eyes bright with a welcoming grin on his lips, Donghyuck didn't feel so repulsed.

"What are you doing? Are you busy?" Jaemin asked, his voice laced with an exaggerated cuteness that would've sent the other members cringing until doomsday.

If it had been anyone else, Donghyuck would've replied with an uninterested "Yeah". But because it was Jaemin—for some reason, _only_ Jaemin—he instead responded with a tiny smile. They agreed to coffee downstairs and Donghyuck wasn't sure how he could spend the hour with Jaemin without the latter noticing his odd behaviour (he certainly wasn't in the mood for an infamous Na Lecture) but he found out later it was all he needed to get back on his feet. As soon as they sat down in the corner of the cafe, right across from each other, coffee in hand, Jaemin had asked if Donghyuck was okay.

Jaemin didn't sound worried or frantic, in fact his tone was so casual and he was smiling as he asked. It sounded like he asked the question out of interest rather than concern and somehow, it helped lessen the burden on Donghyuck's shoulders that he didn't know he had been carrying.

"Yeah," Donghyuck shrugged, barely convincing his own ears. "I'm okay."

And that was that. Jaemin didn't prod further, didn't slam his hands on the table and exclaim "Liar!" in Donghyuck's face. He simply nodded, proceeding to tell Donghyuck some random funny stories that happened to him since the last time they talked. Donghyuck laughed at each one, not having to force a giggle just to be polite because Jaemin was the most hilarious person he knew. From the boy's expressions to his way of speech, there was no way that Donghyuck could resist the temptation to mock him at every chance he got in their following days.

Thanks to the shared laughs that earned them stares from other customers, the ice wall that had been built up to guard Donghyuck gradually melted. The taunting shiver of uncertainty that had been torturing him slowly seeped away the longer he spent time with Jaemin. Donghyuck had no idea as to what it was in Jaemin that could help him feel like himself again, but all he knew and all he minded was that it helped. Someway only Jaemin could bring this certain warmth to him, a delicate yet gentle emotion of which its depth couldn't be measured in words.

The three vital things that Donghyuck can find in none but Na Jaemin: reason, assurance and warmth. Jaemin is _that_ important to him, so how could anyone think they aren't close?

* * *

Quietly, Donghyuck peeks into the shared bedroom of Jaemin and Jisung to see if the former is around. It's a week before the start of promotions for Reload, which means Donghyuck has an excuse to camp out in the Dream dorm longer and make the place his own. (At this point, he doesn't even bother bringing his stuff—he keeps an extra of everything he needs in Jeno's room.) The moment he arrived, he had made his presence known by screaming a rock and roll rendition of the line "I'll be your home" from their otherwise emotional song Dear Dream, and headed straight to find Jaemin.

Surely enough, the boy he's looking for is in his room, standing by the desk with the massive computers while scrolling through his charging phone. Donghyuck approaches him and hugs him loosely from behind, resting his chin on Jaemin's shoulder.

"You're here." Jaemin acknowledges without sparing him a glance.

Donghyuck only hums, wanting to get straight to the point with why he's come looking for him.

"You love me, don't you?" he asks lazily.

"Hm? Why so sudden?"

"We're close, right?" Donghyuck adds, this time with a lot of caution in his voice.

Jaemin chuckles. He turns around, playfully shoving Donghyuck's shoulders. 

"You're being so sappy right now," he points out. "What's up with you?"

"I'm seriously asking!" Donghyuck whines.

"Yeah, sure," Jaemin smiles cheekily. "Hey, do you want ramen? Ah, who am I kidding— you'll eat mine even if you say no."

Donghyuck grumbles at his question being left unanswered, but follows Jaemin out of the room anyways. He pulls himself onto the kitchen counter, playing with a wooden spatula as he watches Jaemin cook, and the two of them easily fall into a conversation about the weather and Jisung's grades and the latest song they've been listening to. Any topic at all, just like all best friends do.

He's not sure exactly when, but at some point Donghyuck realizes that what people assume about his relationship with Jaemin, whether jokes or not, is just that: assumptions. What people may see on-screen is two rivals who've met in the final round of a video game, or two idols solely brought together for the purpose of business, or an uncanny resemblance to a divorced couple forced to work under the same roof. But what they might not see is two friends who have braved through sun and storms together. Two people who've spent nearly their whole lives and careers together. People might not see the comforting embraces they share in the mornings, or the loving slaps on the back during dance practice, or the neverending nag sessions held by Jaemin in order to get Donghyuck to pose for his camera. Or simply moments like this, where they're chilling in their own world, able to talk about everything and anything at all.

People might not see how much they love each other and how well they get along and that's okay. Donghyuck knows. Jaemin knows. That's all they need.

(Yet when the clip of Jaemin stealing an unwarranted kiss from Donghyuck during their Ridin' Club series surfaces, Donghyuck had groaned in disgust then, but later on is unable to stop himself from proudly thinking: "Ha. _Now_ you'll see how close we are.")


End file.
